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Home > Blogs > BloodandMud > Ten things that might happen in 2011 (or not)
Your NewsTen things that might happen in 2011 (or not)
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Sunday 09th January 2011
Ten things that might happen in 2011 (or not)

 1. Danny Grewcock will call a press conference in which he will dissolve into tears as he tells us how truly sorry he is for everything.

2. James Simpson-Daniel will solve his back and shoulder injury problems permanently by playing in a titanium straight jacket. He will still have better hands than Tom Varndell.

3. After spending a week in a large field alone, Andy Powell will discover what space is and the possibilites running into it brings.

4. Brendan Venter will start up a mediation consultancy to heal every rift in international rugby with his zen-like calm and diplomacy. The business will fail after its first assignment: Luke Watson vs The People of South Africa.

5. Adam Jones will finally go the whole hog and spend the entire year not speaking. He will still be a more effective communicator than Stuart Barnes.

6. Phil Vickery will stop referring to himself in the third person, instead speaking exclusively via the medium of dance.

7. England will get slightly better, then a lot worse, then a bit better again (repeat three times) leading to a 78% aggregrate loss of form and results. The management will talk about "small improvements" and "increased momentum", the fans will weep and no-one will lose their job.

8. Gavin Henson and Danny Cipriani will have a media blackout in order to focus on getting themselves into their respective countries' World Cup squads. They then won't be selected and will instead spend October appearing on The X Factor as a duo named Curious Orange.

9. Brian O'Driscoll will become the first person in history to be canonized while still alive.

10. New Zealand will win the World Cup, finally.

What are you predicting for 2011?

Posted by: , on January 09th 2011 on 12:43pm
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