Some suggestions for the IRB rulemakers
1. No using bandages on the legs of forwards to make lifting handles. Use the pockets or the scrotum, like in the olden days.
2. All scrum-halves must end their frequent tirades of abuse at the opposition with “no offence”. E.g. “You can't pass for shit mate, no offence”
3. The word 'ball' to be replaced with 'bastard.' in all commentary. E.g. “After receiving the pass a little high, James Hook couldn't quite shape himself for the drop to send the bastard through the posts to win the game"
4. Park rules apply when lesser nations such as Tonga, Samoa and Scotland play against New Zealand. Eg. Kiwis only allowed to jog not run, once they get 30 points up they have to lose a player etc.
5. According to their management, England apparently always look good in training. So, points scored there will count towards match totals if they score less that 15 points. All unused training points can be carried over to the next World Cup.
6. International Captains can play a joker card at any time in a test match, meaning that the opposition have play Phil Godman at 10 for the next twenty minutes.
7. Any kicker with lower than 70% accuracy must wear a Dunce Hat for the rest of the match, even when kicking.
8. A la dodgeball, any player hit with the ball on the volley who fails to catch it must leave the field. They can only return when a drop-goal is scored by their team.
9. "Crouch-Touch-Pause-Engage" to be replaced with "Going-My-Way-Sailor?